Marry Or Not To Marry

“I don’t love the man I am getting married to….”

I am a 23 years old girl.  I have just finished my post-graduation and started working as a software engineer. It’s been one and half year since I got engaged. My fiance is settled abroad. We might get married by next year. But I don’t want to marry him. I want to escape from this relationship forever.

2 years back when one of my relative gave this proposal to my family. Everyone was very happy and so was I. I saw his pictures and I was blown away by his good looks. All the things seems perfect. A handsome boy, only son and settled abroad. I could not have asked for more from the god. Our horoscope matched and then we have a formal meeting. We liked each other and soon we got engaged.

So with the time passing by we started exploring each other. His family is kind of too much formal, opposite to my family. We don’t believe in formalities and show offs. His mother has indirectly told me that they love wearing branded clothes and she love gold and diamond Jewelry. I don’t understand the point of explaining these things to me. I kind of feel that, she is hinting me to get these things for her and her family.

My fiance seems funny and very caring after the engagement. But soon I started feeling like he thinks that he has bought me and he should put me under his thumb. He always keep on telling where I stand in his family. He always says that his family comes first. But when I say the same he gets fumed. He says now I should be the first one for you. He asks me to call his parents and sisters regularly. But he never calls my parents and tells me that they should call him instead.

We have met twice after the time we got engaged and what he got me and my family from foreign is a box of chocolate. It’s not about gifts or money but isn’t I am someone special for him. In fact I bought a cap for him because he told me that he needs a cap. But he refused to take my cap completely as it was not a branded one. He gave it back to me. I was so shattered.

Few days back he called me when he was drunk and told me that he doesn’t care about my family but is only interested in me. He also told that if he will insist my parents will go on their knees to make me marry to him as they don’t have option.

I am completely shattered. I always want to respect my life partner and  same I aspect from him. The respect for each other’s family is mutual, we don’t have to say this. These are few incidents but there are many more. I now don’t have feelings for him. I don’t want to get married to a person whom I don’t love and respect. I have not shared this to my family yet. But they are kind of aware of this and convince me that things will be fine after marriage.

I am stuck in this instance of my life. What’s your take on this? Is it wise to live a life with such a person who doesn’t respect you and your family but expect the same from you.